Every day is another day. Another day closer to my yard at home closing down. Another day closer to knowing that my safe haven, my home, my family will no longer be. Its weird to think that I will be going somewhere else and going back to square one. A place I know only too well.
5 or so years ago we went away for new years and had booked us to have a riding lesson. The horses were a bit excited as it had snowed. We did some jumping and were told not to jumping position. I fell off and since then I became a very nervous rider. What scared me most was that I would fall off and break something to not ride for weeks on end. Riding for me was not just about being around horses and learning a new skill it was also about the people. The people I knew would be there week in, week out to tell me everything was okay and to help me when I got nervous or got on a pony I hadn’t ridden before. Everyone felt like a sister to me and I really enjoyed spending sunny days at the yard. Every year I would go to pony club camp and always had so much fun and I saw a definite improvement in my riding.
The one thing I have learnt about myself as I have got older is that I do not cope well with change, so knowing that the next time I ride at Brawlings will be my last is certainly hitting a nerve as I know I will have to find a new riding school and build up a rapport with new instructors and new people. I don’t like change and I struggle to cope with change and it is going to be very weird at first not driving to Brawlings every Saturday with the biggest smile on my face and just the happiness I cannot explain. The thing is- nothing will be Brawlings and this is something I have had to come to accept over the past weeks. Nothing is comparable to the place I loved and made so many great memories over the years.
The one person who has completely taken me under their wing is Carolyn and I know when the day comes I wont be able to say what I want to say as I will probably be crying my eyes out but I am so thankful to Carolyn and all the instructors at Brawlings for always looking after me. Carolyn, you nurtured me after that fall and made sure I was never harsh on my self. You pushed me on difficult horses who I soon came to love and I honestly would not be where I am today without you. I have so much more confidence now and although I get frustrated easily when I have to jump but I am getting there and it is all about increasing my confidence and just having fun.
I want to say thank you to every instructor at Brawlings who has helped improve my riding and have always made me feel so welcome. The friends I have made I will cherish forever and I hope to be able to keep in contact with them for many years to come. I feel although I will never been Ben Maher I have achieved some personal goals whilst riding at Brawlings and I will never forget the laughs we had (when girths were too loose or words were said in funny ways). Thank you especially to Judy for making Brawlings the best days of my life.