Today I got the Megabus back home to Oxford from Portsmouth and, after a delicious cappuccino and bacon sandwich in this little cafe near the harbour, the journey back wasn’t too bad.
I managed to do a lot of reading which is always handy and my iPod was dishing out a lot of musical treats on shuffle, one of which was ‘Dammit’ by Blink-182 (the greatest pop-punk band ever) and the title of this post was stolen from some of the lyrics. I also think it’s appropriate because recently, and particularly today, I have felt like an actual adult for the first time ever, which is pretty scary.
Here are the reasons why:
1. Coming home to your old bed in your old house in your old village is pretty daunting. It’s odd because obviously I spent my whole life living here before uni, but it doesn’t feel like my house any more: it really feels as though I’m just visiting my parents’ house. You know the feeling you always get when you’re younger and you visit your extended family? When you know you’re more than welcome to be there and you can make yourself at home but it’s not really your house? That’s how I feel about “home home” (not “uni home”) now.
2. My little brother isn’t little any more. I remember when he was a baby and when he was at primary school and now he’s at secondary school and asking me for advice on which iPod he should buy. It makes me feel so old! I suppose I am now really. My Mum got married when she was my age (which is a terrifying thought!)
3. I’ve finally got round to doing things with my life. I’m finding it impossible to get a part-time job in Portsmouth and there are the usual stresses of life (money, work, relationships – I’m talking generally here, not romantically) but in my time at uni I have achieved a lot and this year alone I’ve managed to keep this blog up, pursue my writing career (or at least unbelievably hard too), and be an active member on the committee at the SU. Also, I’ve been applying for work experience left, right and centre, because I know how difficult it’s going to be when I leave uni and I really want to do well for myself.
For now I need to get on with writing a music review, an absolute tonne of reading, and sorting out my dissertation proposal!
I can’t believe how soon the end of second year is and it’s a bit sad really, because I don’t want uni to end, but I suppose it has to some day!